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Taken Should Not be a Good Film.

Taken 2 Poster

Upon hearing the well documented news that there is to be a sequel to the 2008 action flick ‘Taken’, I feel this is the perfect time to express my opinion on the semi – heroic death machine that is Bryan Mills and his quite stunning ability to dodge the police or in-fact any form of consequence for his downright disgusting treatment of the Albanian mafia.

The film features a retired CIA field operative that might as well have been given 96 hours to hunt Osama Bin Laden based on his ability to find entirely anonymous kidnappers purely from them uttering two words on a mobile phone. But not only does this man not miss a shot, he also has the uncanny ability to board commercial airlines back to the USA after practically diminishing the Albanian population and scaring Paris sh*tless.

People shouldn’t remember a movie with such cliche’d action sequences and plot about as complicated as a new episode of Mickey Mouse’s Clubhouse, but they do, and this may be the reason it’s so popular.┬áPeople enjoy watching the screen like stale vegetables gazing at an ageing man with a seemingly endless arsenal of cool one-liners. There is no thought or effort in this. Just shiny explosions and middle eastern bad guys getting shot by a man who also happens to be Zeus and that bloke from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (the crap one).

Mills hunting those ever problematic Albanians. Is that racist?

However, after all the obvious flaws with this film I can’t help but be excited for the sequel. When I heard they had plans for a “Taken 2” I was dreading a story similar to what the Hangover did, basically take the same film and put it in a different country without adding to the formula at all because “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”. But the trailer has actually given us a reason to want more from the Neesonater, and to see what those pesky Albanians are up to this time. It’s also made me curious to see what his seemingly useless daughter will add to Brian “Rambo” Mills ploy, and also whether she’s still a virgin or not. These questions need answering.

Slightly off topic but I can’t help but wonder that if put to the task, would he be able to find this guy?

Just a thought.